Looking Back 1,460 Days

This is on a personal note, not horse-related.  Today, four years ago, Matt and I met for the first time and went on our first date.  I can and can't believe it's been four years.  So much has happened since and so much has changed and then again, so much hasn't. 

This anniversary has come at an interesting time nonetheless.  At a time where things just aren't so great.  It's complicated and is a long story, so I'm not going to get into it to much.  Life and relationships are hard, hard with family.  As you get older, relationships with family get a little different.  You're no longer that little kid who lives on love.  Now you have circumstance, issues, disagreements and everything to deal with.  Unfortunately, love isn't as free spirited as it once was.  This is so true with my family.  Too involved with my relationship with Matt, I feel that I am starting to get pushed away.  I've been living, rather not doing the best living, on the premise that nothing in my life is positive.  My older brother seems to think I'm inadequate or something like that.  His relationship with his ex ended at their 3 1/2 or so year mark.  It was ugly for at least 2 of those years and got even worse at the last year.  Everyone was effected by his relationship and relieved and happy once he was out of it.  The last thing I thought is that in a way, it would bite me in the butt.  

Now everyone seems to have S* (older brother's ex) phobia.  My relationship with Matt is at the fore-front of everyone's opinions because we've been together for longer.  You'd think it would be different, but it's not.  Matt gave me a ring, not an engagement ring, but a promise ring on my birthday.  It was something that came at the right time and we both felt good about everything in our relationship.  Afterwards, my mom and brother must have talked (they do that often) about my life and where it's going.  The next day my mom made it clear that she doesn't think my relationship with Matt is a good long term thing.  This has happened off and on in our relationship.  Which is interesting because I'm not afraid of us not being together.  If we decided it would be better to not be together, we are genuinely open and supportive of each other.  Matt and I have a lot of fun together, he's a sweet guy and very helpful to my family.  But yet, they always seem to take what he gives and doesn't appreciate it.  Maybe they are holding him to such a high standard for me?  I don't know.  He always raises up to help them and the same for me.  

Their opinions never come in an understanding way.  My brother, who is quiet, does it in ways which puts Matt and I, our relationship, in a negative light.  He may joke, or blow up once other things wrong with me in his eyes, get too much.  But the truth is, whenever things are wonderful with Matt and I'm so happy, they don't pay attention.  When Matt and I are in a rough spot, it's usually due to me being stressed about my family and then they start paying attention.  Quick to judge and quick to talk down.  This doens't end with my relationship with Matt, that's only the begining.  

But, despite what anyone thinks or says, I love Matt with all my heart.  Whatever happens, happens.  I'm young and ambitious about learning from my mistakes.  If Matt and I honestly got to a point where we thought it would be best for both of us to move on, we would.  Being friends always.  Matt is my best friend, always will be.  So much of what he does, what keeps amazing me about him, is stuff that happens between us.  This reminds me soooo much of Ink and I.  Ink is humbling, most of the most amazing occurrences in our relationship are things no one see's.  Yet when my dad comes to visit Ink, he's naughty and well, doesn't think much of him or understands US.  Sounds familiar, minus the naughty.

Matt and I have an interesting story.  Our dad's knew eachother for some time.  Matt and I even probably passed eachother, or saw eachother throughout our childhoods.  Matt knew my older brother but not me.  It was probably fate, we both agree, that we met when we did, because we might not have ended up together if we met when we were really young. 

My best friend ST was dating Matt in fall '05.  We didn't go to school together then (me & my best friend) so I didn't know who her new (and first) boyfriend was.  About 2 months or so later I think, they broke up.  Matt later told me, when we began dating, that he just didn't like her like that, so he broke it off.  While ST said, they broke up mutually.  Oh high school romances!  On February 3rd, (about 4-5 months since ST & Matt broke up)  ST came over and we were on my computer.  She said to see if Matt was on AIM, so I added his screen-name and what do you know, he was on.  I told her I had this grand plan of messing with him because after all, he hurt my best friend!  We ended up talking late, late, into the night and eventually decided that we had to meet.  So much for my "plan."  The next day, Matt and I decided to go to the Movies that night, my little bro and his GF were going to go too.  ST was OK with it, but told me that I wouldn't like him etc.  Well, when I met him, I had a HUGE mega-watt smile, he was special.  We took a walk before the movies and talked, wow.  The rest is history!  ST became pretty upset about Matt & I and eventually didn't talk to me anymore.  This sounds bad, but there is a lot more to the story.  Matt was great for me and we were great for each other. 

Well today is four years! 

A Dirty Ham

Here is Ink today after a little work in the round pen.  He was acting pretty good today and we had a good time in there.  I think, Ink's favorite part was rolling.  A not in just any spot in this round pen, but in the only wet, nasty part.  Of course! 

But, afterwards, the sun came out and I was able to give him a quick hose down as well as clean and condition his mangy tail.

It's hard to tell from this angle, but my worst nightmares have come true.  Ink's top-line has melted...just melted away :(.  All of that hard work, gone so quickly.  Oh well for now.  At least his butt looks lovely!

On a side note.  Over the weekend, Matt and I spent time with his best friend & his girlfriend, who also has horses.  They trailered over and we spent Saturday at my barn then took a trail ride through the vineyards.  The following day, we went to their place and went up to the barn where she (Ashley) keeps her two horses. 

I love meeting new horse friends :). 

Many Ways, Which to Choose.

If you blog, have you ever been faced with the idea or task of choosing a topic or path from the day to write about?  See, I could have gone so many different directions just based on one silly little detail from today and be able to write a long, drawn-out post about it.  Such as; Ink's patch of un-clipped hair (lol..), the puddle hopping we did today and how fun and productive it is or how rain (upon which was furious today) effects a barn full of horses.  Sometimes the task to figure out just what in the world to write about is far greater than actually writing.

So I sit down and wing it!  I quickly remember the day (which is sometimes more exciting and neat than the way it comes out on the blog..fyi ;) )  and begin to let my mind, thoughts and memory do all the writing.  I just wanted to put that out there, that quite frankly there is just so much that happens in one day with horses and each time you sit down to blog about it, sometimes the neatest things of the day are so minor that they get left behind.  Some things you just have to be there to understand or appreciate.  I do my best to bring all you readers into the life of Ink, but that's harder than it seems.  My mind and hand to write, have been pouring out whatever comes up, that at times, it seems like a jumbled mess when I go back to read what I wrote.  Sorry, key-word vomit!

Onwards to the details from today..

 I have been getting Ink out almost daily, to help keep him in balance.  Too much inside time and he's a mental, emotional, physical mess.  Even if it's turn-out in the arena, or lunging, any good time to stretch is good for him.  But, there is only so long that stays appealing.  Ink, like with most horses and riders, need change.  Keeping things predictable just isn't fun.  I was debating on letting Ink have a good turnout in the arena and taking Errika on a trail ride through the vineyards.  But I suddenly, well over a short period, changed my mind and thought that today I'd take Ink out on a short hack instead.  The storms have hit pretty good around here, so I was delighted to see a break and even some sun in the early afternoon.  Things just fell into place, a break in the storm, Ink was being good, I felt good about the idea and off we went.  At first Ink was a little anxious and I felt he was prepared to take off in a gallop or hop around, so I let him trot out until he felt good to come back down to a quieter walk.

It proved to work and I brought Ink down to a quiet but brisk walk.  He was excited and marched forward ready to explore the surroundings.  There were many puddles and I practiced setting him up for each and going straight through the middle as if we were approaching a jump.  Good start!  He walked right through puddles happily responding to my, I would like to say requests, but as the leader, they were demands.  Which Ink was, I could tell, surprised by and therefore enthusiastic about following my lead.  He was defiantly in a work, "let's go," "let's do it" mood.  It was a short hack, we walked to the pond and back.  I have taken very little hacks solo and mostly for safety sake.  But I feel comfortable with taking Ink out solo these days and it seems to be a great time to work on our trust.  

I saw a dark cloud coming from the west.  With thunder and lightning in the forecast, I decided to head back and make sure we were safe inside before the storm cloud got any closer.  Luckily, I was not in the mode to continue and just ride through rain, because not too long after we arrived back at the barn, the rain came.  It started with quiet sprinkles and then suddenly, and I mean suddenly, it began pouring.  Then the wind came, a darker cloud rolled in and the thunder started rumbling.  

But..I forgot to mention..  When I got to the barn, I made sure I quickly un-tacked Ink and turned him out into the arena for a good 'reward' roll.  (He loves doing that after a ride.) 

Luckily I saw no lightning.  I was preparing grain in the grain room and left the front door open so I could watch Ink to make sure he didn't freak out through more thunder.  (The grain room door, is parallel to the end of the arena.) It began to rumble harder.  I kept my eyes on Ink who was actually standing looking straight at me.  He knew very well what I was up too.  It poured and rumbled hard, Ink actually spooked and ran with his tail up like an Arab, head high.  Then quickly calmed down and came back to watch me.  I have to be honest and say, I'm enthralled by thunder and lightning.  It's a big LOVE but scare relationship.  Being all alone at the barn, I was scared, but still a little excited.  I was scared to go in that grain room alone.  So it was comforting to have Ink close by...LOL.  No really.

Well, the rain continued, the thunder left.  Ink was chill and all was good. 

The above photo was taken today looking out from the indoor arena aisle way to the barn where Ink lives.

Looking at 365 Days.

I have been doing some thinking.  I am so pleased to be at the barn I'm at.  I love it.  Close to home, nice people, quiet but not too quiet, low-key yet knowledgeable people.  Ink and Errika, as well as all the other horses on the property are well treated, cared for and well fed.  I have been thinking about where we left, who we left and why.  I do miss the old barn.  There for only 6 months, it still felt like we had been there for longer than that.  It is certainly hard to leave a place or situation that you are tied to in multiple ways.  I worked there, I had made friends, I liked it there but there were other factors that helped me make the decision to move.  When you work where your essential "escape" or "haven" is, it can be hard to just relax like a normal boarder can.  I love to work around horses, I liked the work I was doing at the old barn.  But, I was pulled thin and when it finally came to working with my horses and having down time, it was almost non-exsistant.  Because the barn was a 30minute drive from my house getting out twice a day took time.  I would work, then go home, do other things and then go back in the evening to ride or work the horses, then repeat the next day.  Early days, late nights.  It was hard.  Honestly, my day to day life wasn't difficult, but there was too much to get done, not enough time and all the work I was doing, I didn't get to really appreciate the benefits.  I didn't get to really appreciate the benefits.  Yes, that sums it up.  

Errika's condition began to drop a bit.  It concerned me and the fact that it wasn't concerning to people it should have been, was enough for me to go, "hold on a second.."  I can be walked over (don't tell Matt this) but the minute I work my tush off only to have my horses not being treated like they should, that is a different story.  There are no exceptions to that.  The past is the past though and now I look back and see that my concerns were not and still aren't being understood.  I moved for my sake and for my horses'.  I was tired, I wasn't enjoying what I was working hard for.  I will give myself that at least, I was working hard.

Anyway, the new year is time to look back and think about what happened during the past 365 days.  So I consider this, looking back.

All The Beauty In The World...

Last year, during the second body clip of the season in January, at the last barn, I attempted to clip Ink.  The first clip (in 08' before the move to the last barn) went well if you recall.  He was good, quiet and enjoyed the time actually.  But the second clip, I used nice Stewart Oster clippers, the kind the pro's use. Those big ones that take muscle - just to hold & strength and precision to use!  I was able to glide through the hair so quickly, which much more finesse, that I thought this time, for sure, things would be going much faster than the last clip.  WRONG!  Never count your chickens before they hatch my friends..  :) 

The clip job went all well, until I got to the front end of the big bay horse.  He hated it.  I got my little voice and tried to baby him through the process, knowing it probably tickled.  It was also probably a little uncomfortable when the big clippers were going over the shoulders and more sensitive parts.  I did my best to stay slow and easy, but I couldn't continue.  Ink had had enough for the night.  I tried the next day to re-approach.  Ink had a couple large patches of hair.  He looked like someone took clippers to him for fun, going in a multitude of directions, clipping here and there to see what kind of artistic masterpiece there was to be made.  I was only able to almost finish the clip with lots of patience.  Even my instructor couldn't finish.  There was no way I could finish a certain patch.  Right at his shoulder, just below his withers, on each side, two medium sized patches glared back at me.  The job was certainly not done, and these two ridiculous patches of hair were looking pretty offensive.  

I got giggles and laughs from people over my clipped-challenged horse.  But there was nothing I could do.  Ink had just had enough and there was no which way around that.  So I said, "Ok," and left it at that.  Inside I'm furious with this clip, because it looks HORRIBLE.  And Ink, he's so handsome, he deserves the best looking clip to enhance his beauty :)!  He went the rest of the season with those rediculous, blasted patches always staring back at me..

Clipping is a necessary evil - for me that is.  It's an art with Ink.  As with most things regarding the big bay horse. -  The perfect balance of many ingredients such as patience, understanding, finding center and knowing when and where to begin to clip and how to approach the job.  It's constantly under assessment of his ever critiquing self.  He's very sensitive and he demands almost near perfection.  Oh brother..why even clip then!?

I tell you, a clipped horse is a smart looking horse.  It's definitely much prettier than their wooly coats.  That is on most horses.  And this is my opinion of course.  I do like wooly bear coats on some horses :).  But Ink, well he looks like a finely groomed gentlemen all clipped.  But it doesn't just serve for appearance sake..  There is also a practical means behind it.  They don't sweat as much because they are not wearing a down jacket anymore. They dry much, much faster when they do sweat.  The coat is much more manageable because a quick sweep with a soft dandy brush does the trick, verses you curry, hard brush etc, routine.  For horses being worked it's a very practical practice.  And, did I say it's pretty? :)

But it's not always easy.  I'm on day 3 of clipping Ink.  This is not a joke.  I did most with the big clippers and once I got to the sensitive parts, Ink said, "HECK NO, KEEP THOSE AWAY."  I bought some smaller clippers to finish the job yesterday.  I was able to get all but a small area.  - To finish tomorrow!  But, it's a long, slow, process with Ink.  If I do say so, the clip looks mighty good for what it did yesterday.  It's not as perfect and flawless as I would like, but it's close considering the patient.

Pictures to follow :).